Back to The Farm

Our first visit to The Farm in Lipa City, Batangas was on June 23, 2007. Back then, The Farm, was our best choice to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. Overseeing the construction of her family’s apartment gave Joan lots of stress, while my frequent trips to La Union for a year-long project left both of us. Kapagod!

 

Getting to The Farm at Barangay Tipakan is easy enough. The map posted on their website provided fairly detailed road directions, plus the traffic enforcers at Lipa City are familiar with the place. We had the Day of Delight package on the first day for a guided exploration of the entire resort, Live Blood Analysis (you get to see how your blood "looks" like), free use of all its facilities, and an all-vegan lunch buffet.

We stayed at their cozy Sulo Terrace cottage. While it is unusual for the toilet and bath to be situated outside the room, we didn't mind at all.

Two worlds: a reflection

This draft has been written in my PDA during my numerous trips to La Union in the early parts of 2007. I've forgotten about this, and found it again just now. So here...

Our first Christmas and New Year holiday as married couple opened a kaleidoscope of realities that left me reeling in a mix of wonder.

To summarize, year 2006 ended with Joan and I realizing that our families are different in so many ways, both in good and not-so-good things.

A world of difference, I must say.

We both perceive something different, at most alien, in each of our families. The only difference is that we are one family now, and we get to subtly nudge and poke each others families here and there – without trying too hard and without crossing the line.

Cheers!

The Big Day

Hi! It's been a while, but we'll let the pictures describe June 28, 2006 for now...

Our wedding photos, in their initial layout, courtesy of Ariel Javelosa.

More to follow. Take care, everyone!

A day to go

I woke up wishing I was more rested.

I officially went on leave from the office last Friday, but far from taking it slow and getting that much-needed beauty rest, the past days were just as busy as it has been for the past three months.

I spent the weekend with my family for some sightseeing in Tagaytay and Laguna. I met my sister’s two-year old daughter for the first time.



While the get-together and trips left me tired, I was glad to catch up on family news and once again be grounded on the long-term plans my family is taking. I consider these moments precious, given how geographically-dispersed my immediate family is.

Yesterday was spent still fine-tuning our respective wedding prep assignments.

And so the eve of the Big Day began:

Morning –

Had a mug of full-strength Lingzi coffee (two sachets. mmmm!). Brought my laundry to my suking laundromat, and picked up my barong and pants from the dry cleaners.

I learned that pure piña fibers sometimes have natural, irremovable stains, and my barong had a small one on the left side of the chest. Still, the material exudes a certain elegance that is heightened by the intricate hand-woven designs that ran along the sleeves and back.

This barong is, by far, the most expensive and most important piece of clothing I’ve ever owned.

Dropped by the office to activate my email’s auto-reply. It went like

Your email has been saved in my mailbox. I am currently out of the office and will return on Monday, July 10. I will be checking email occasionally. Thank you!

Briefed two of my colleagues who will be taking over the responsibilities I’ll be leaving behind for ten days. I owe you one, guys!

Afternoon –


I skipped lunch to speed up housekeeping of Kampo. The place has to be secured, and I was glad to have inspected every corner of the house because I discovered that our neighborhood cat, Macaroon, has taken refuge in one of the closets. There she was, all cuddled up and cozy among the old blankets.

Ate late lunch at 2pm. I wasn’t hungry at all, but I was constantly reminded by my mother to eat well today and get enough rest, so I went out to a nearby ChowKing and pigged out on their lauriat meals.

Arrived at Manila Diamond Hotel at 5pm, where my sister, her daughter Aly, her husband, and my mother were waiting. Good thing the occupancy was not heavy that day, so my sister was able to get two adjacent rooms, both facing Manila Bay. Lovely!

My fiancée and her family has checked in at a room a few floors above us, so I paid my future in-laws a courtesy visit. Joan’s still busy by then, but I’ll leave the storytelling to her.

We had dinner at Barrio Fiesta at UN Avenue, went back to the hotel, sorted some gifts for the priests and principal sponsors, and settled down to rest.



...

...

My officemates have been kidding me that, somehow, “nerbiyos” (nervousness) will hit me.

Maybe it will. But I had none of it today. ^^

Two days to go

At this point I have become ambi-textrous.

I have no choice but to use my left hand in texting – my right has developed a painful spasm since I started responding to texts from invited guests, suppliers, and *cough cough* work-related matters.

We're desperate for sleep, too.

This, coupled with a stress level that’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my entire adult life, equals a pre-nup pictorial, done last June 14, that showed my fiancée posing with someone who looks like Kermit the Frog in 90% of the photos. Haha!

But the pre-nup photo shoot generally went well, considering I'm a person who'd always prefer to stand behind the camera than to be in front of it. With a little photoshop tweaking here and there for some photos (about 90% of them), I say the pictorial was great.

Last weekend I developed mouth sores (one of my indicators of stress) so severe they have to be chemically cauterized if I want to deliver my marriage vows properly.

And so yesterday I discovered a new method of torture, and it’s called Debacterol (Uhm Doc, is my mouth on fire?). I highly recommend it for interrogation of terrorist suspects.

But that little, chemical-filled cotton bud is a miracle drug. I’ve never seen mouth sores heal so fast since electric cauterization. Just a few hours after it was administered, I feel I could rap my marriage vows without missing a single syllable. Yo!

It’s now 7:30am.

Joan’s family has arrived from Roxas City yesterday. Later I’ll meet up with my mother, and my sister and her family, to check-in at the hotel.

I still have tons to pack – wedding stuffs and clothes. And we both have more last-minute wedding details to attend to. I guess a year of preparation doesn’t really eliminate this part.

Two days to go.

Our heart’s a bit sad for not having invited a lot of our friends. Economics definitely draws a clear, heavy line, and we have to just make do with the resources at hand.

But we share with you our happiness.

http://geocities.com/larozal/wedding/

Take care everyone! See you in a few days. Photos to follow. ^^

So far

I agree with some of the opinions going around the W@Wie egroup that no matter how early you start your wedding preparation, some things take their own time – and take time.

Last Saturday we signed our contract with our caterer, and picked up our wedding rings.

It was rather funny to learn that, while reviewing the details of our reception setup, much has changed in the world of wedding styles: the lovely gazebo that has captured our fancy almost a year ago has become... uhm... obsolete.

But heck, we signed up for something that resembles a garden, not some antique-looking copper frame, so a flowery gazebo we’re gonna get. Haha!

Just a reminder: READ the fine print.

As with all things that has become so standard, and often taken for granted, a pro-forma contract that was passed on from one account executive to another could unintentionally evolve into something questionable, if not plain erroneous. As my w2b pointed out, a misplaced comma could change everything.

And the rings, after months of selecting, fitting, and resizing, are now here with me – ready for the big day.

Sigh… My very first piece of jewelry… I look forward to wearing it. ^^

Unexpected

I remember my mother telling me sometime ago, when our wedding prep started, that "life is made more interesting by things that we do not expect, by the mistakes we commit."

Interesting indeed...

Neither of us anticipated that the sunflowers at UP Diliman would die this early off the year. Seeing them dried up and wilted just this first of week of May almost made we weep.

How, for the life of me, did that happen? I clearly remember before that the university avenue would still be blindingly yellow even as the summer classes are about to end.

Even the ones in the small patch near the Oblation have lost their perkiness.

Sigh...

Curse ye, la niña.

Double sigh...

The silent wing

I have been quiet for so long. I may be vocal in person but not in writing. I still have to be comfortable with the idea of blogging and letting people read my thoughts. But with Leo's support, I take the plunge. - Joan

Reminders: OTD payments and gifts

Just some reminders...

1. For suppliers needing full payments on the day itself, put corresponding amount in separate envelopes, label and seal. Print an acknowledgement sheet summary where the suppliers can sign. Give the envelopes and payment sheet summary to someone who could settle the bills for you. In the summary sheet, indicate the name of the suppliers, amount and space for their signatures.

2. Make a summary sheet for the gifts, with numbered stickers for each gifts. The summary will contain the name of the giver and the number of his/her gift. Assign someone to monitor the loading of gifts in vehicles. S/He could use the tally sheet and mark the corresponding number of the sticker after loading it on the vehicle.

Beauty

In almost all wedding planners I’ve read, there is always a part that says “Enroll in a fitness program.”

Vanity has never been a consideration in my fitness lifestyle. Health is. Coming from a clan that is replete of hereditary ailments like diabetes, arthritis, and hypertension, I’d say I’m already paranoid of my own health at this age.

But it’s only now that I started gunning for six-pack abs. Once or twice a day I huff and puff on the floor doing every imaginable punishment I can think of to get my one-pack ectoplasmic beer belly into a thing of beauty.

My fiancee is doing a MUCH better progress with her fitness program.

But trust that life will always come up with something to catch you off-guard. ^^

Of all her thirty years in life, the chicken pox decides to strike her now – less than four months away from the wedding. Detection and medication came in a tad too late, so she has to contend with the considerable amount of lesions in her face, neck, and arms.

The pressure for her to heal wouldn’t have to be so intense, had she gotten the chicken pox at any other time of her life. But with our wedding just around the corner, this usually typical, part-of-life illness is enough to get her spirits down.

Hug, Pangga. You will always be beautiful to me. I pray for your speedy recovery.

Choices and choosing

Kung Hei Fat Choi!

The year of the Fire Dog bids well for Joan and I, but nonetheless never a reason to be complacent with preparations. Our fears, worries, and panic about our upcoming wedding are rising at an alarming rate.

Five months to go...

Just before New Year 2006 we secured the pina cloths for myself, the best man, and the rest of the men in our immediate family. My mother was able to get discount from a supplier in Kalibo, but I felt a bit guilty after we saw how hard the weaving process is.

I'll be sailing back to Aklan this February to get fitted by our local lady 'sastre' for my barong. She's been making my school uniforms back in my elementary and highschool years.

The entourage has been assembled, and we've rounded up seven of the twelve principal sponsors since we started personally inviting them during the Christmas holidays. No one refused, mercifully (but it's never in our culture to refuse to be ninongs and ninangs, right?).

We're three ninongs and two ninangs shy of completing the entourage and, thus, finalizing the invitation.

Why the delay? Blame it on my hesitation: first, I fear my prospective ninang/ninong won't even remember me, and; second, I worry to no end about the implications of getting a specific person as our sponsor. Not that I am being too picky, but these people are going to be part of our lives forever.

Just the same, though, I must decide fast -- there are invitations awaiting final layout and printing.

The last batch of souvenirs are in. It's time to dress them up. Yey!

A source of potential heart-attack is our caterer, which has been going through some employee-employer turbulence these past months. They lost two account executives, both handling our account, since we booked last October 2005. The first was suspected of estafa, and the second resigned after working for barely two months.

We have yet to meet the third, and hopefully the last, account executive whom we will be working with. It gets kind of tiring having to familiarize yourself over again with a person, however professional they may be.

Divisoria fun: Souvenirs first batch

Last Saturday we bought our first batch of souvenirs from Tabora St. at Divisoria.

It's amazing how this place looks during Christmas season -- double the usual human and motor traffic, generators were set up to keep almost all sidewalk stalls lit up so brightly till late night, and more foreigners mixing it up with the rest of the bargain hunters.

Good thing we had an agreement with the salesperson a month ago -- the price of our chosen souvenir is now Php8.00 higher than our agreed price.

Pamamanhikan in Roxas City

October 30, Sunday
Roxas City, Capiz

It's like a game of poker: you're never sure what cards are at hand. But everything went smoothly, and it was quite an experience for both our families. ^_^

Roxas City is about an hour and a half away from Batan. We got there in time for lunch. After some introductions, welcomes, and niceties, we carried the affair to the dining area. Joan's parents also prepared a little feast for us, so it's food galore. Yum!

I was told to bring an elderly relative so there will be someone to keep the conversations going with Joan's parents. No need. I was confident my brother and godbrother, both accomplished businessmen, wouldn't run out of things to talk about with Joan's father, while our mothers are both teachers.

And true enough, the conversations about business would have gone on and on had the group not decided to change the topic and finally get down to discussing our wedding plans. (Hey, don't let us spoil the fun. Haha!)

Our opening spiel was brief and straightforward, getting over with the date, church, and venue as quickly as possible.

It went unchallenged, to my surprise. I was somehow expecting to hear objections with the venue (ESPECIALLY the venue), as local traditions would prescribe that we be married at the lady's hometown.

The church got some comments here and there about being a cemetery, but the concern was immediately addressed with a promise to cover the word "cemetery" at the Paco Park's entrance with a banner or something. As to the reception venue, the only concern raised was the traffic condition.

I felt a little chill when the folks started discussing the costs and budget. Thank goodness my brother seemed to have forgotten what he told me when he got drunk at the ship, and didn't challenge me as he had promised. Also, I was grateful my godbrother was there to help us explain our choice of suppliers with his own wedding experience.

The entourage, principal sponsors, souvenirs, and gown designs ate up most of the afternoon. Our folks shared suggestions here and there, and Joan and I agree that they've been really open-minded about the whole thing.

By 4pm, we were relieved to have settled most of the items we were unsure of. By 5pm, it was back to non-wedding-related kwentuhan (and more kainan). We left Roxas City at around 6pm.

All in all it was a memorable meeting of families. I wish my sister, my father, and Joan's brother were there, the picture would have been complete. But just the same, it was a first for us all. ^_^

[l-r: Bimboy (Leo's godbrother), Kuya Larry, and Fr. Glen B.]

[l-r: Tatay Jack, Joan's cousins Belen and Malba, and Nanay Rose]

[l-r: Joan, Tatay Jack, Nanay Rose, Leo, Mommy Vi, and Kuya Larry]

"Pamaeayi": Preparations

October 29, Saturday
Batan, Aklan

The title is the term for "pamamanhikan" in Aklan. But unlike pamamanhikan which derives its root word from "panhik", meaning to go upstairs, pamaeayi gets it from "bayi", which means woman, lady, or female.

There's no difference, though, with the value my fellow Aklanons place on it compared to the ones commonly practiced anywhere else. On the day of pamaeayi, the event and feast prepared by the man's family must be nothing less than the best to honor the lady and her family.

My mother's friends and elder relatives dropped by our house, bringing foodstuffs and insights on how the meeting should go. Since my father is left in Batangas to recover from his recent cardiac arrest, the role of family spokesperson went to my mother. She was even given a formal speech that she's supposed to say to the lady's family.

I learned that pamaeayi, in our small town Batan, is a community affair. Friends, colleagues, and even neighbors would want to tag along to provide moral support for the man (I needed that. *kaba kaba*). But we had to apologize to most of them because it is going to be a small gathering.

Let's me just go through my list...

From my camp: my mother, my brother, my "igsuon" (God-brother) who was married in Manila (I need to bring someone with experience in urban wedding), my brother's friend priest (for divine support?), and two of my mom's friends to help us with the food and to lay-out the table.

For my bride-to-be: her father, her mother, and two of her cousins who are staying with them.

In the food department:
Lechon de leche
Chicken binakol and chicken adobo (All native. No bird flu, promise!)
Beef steak
Steamed Bisaya rice

Equipment: 2 still cameras, 1 handycam (Got to document those pledges! Haha!).

Joan and I will have these props for tomorrow: photos of the church and reception venue laid out in a scrap book, a sample of our proposed souvenir, pictures of gown designs, swatches of cloth for the motif, short list of the entourage, some rehearsed scripts and fallback statements, lots of courage, confidence, and loud voices so people will hear us. ^_^

Into the fray

They say getting started is the hardest part.

They're right. ^_^

Three months of preparation and we haven't covered much of the essentials -- our guest list is at its first draft, we have yet to personally invite our principal sponsors, draft the invitation design, close deals with the caterer, photographer, florist, etc etc etc.

My officemate, a fellow UP graduate, has an explanation to this: "Tayong mga taga-UP ay magaling sa cramming." Well, it's hard to disagree with someone who can list a hundred cases and experiences to prove that point.

Anyway, that three months were mainly spent for scouting ideas and learning about wedding preps.

And so into the fray we go.

We've been scouting for ideas at bridal fairs, and have started searching that paradise called Divisoria. Last weekend we scanned the streets of Tabora and Ylaya, and the famed 168.

We will definitely be going back in the coming days.

Joining the Wedding @ Work egroup has also been a lot of help, that is if you don't mind getting over 300 emails every day. I think we'll be lurker-status in this group forever because there's not enough time to write when it takes the entire time just reading through half of the messages.

Oh and there's pamamanhikan coming up this end of October. We've been given tips by those who went through it: we must have a script, and rehearse on how to present our plans to our folks.

Should I bring the laptop and projector? ^_^

That little chapel

Intimate and simple. That's how we describe St. Pancratius Chapel at Paco Park, Manila, and that's what we are looking for.

I have faint memories of the park way back my childhood days, when my family used to reside in Pandacan, Manila. We would hear mass there on Sundays then take a stroll at Luneta.

Save for the now airconditioned chapel interiors and light posts at the park grounds, Paco Park has maintained its rustic and historical atmosphere. Located right smack in the middle of an urban jungle, the park is like a tiny oasis.

And so next year, the ancient and weathered walls surrounding St. Pancratius Chapel will bear witness to our wedding.

A love story, part 2

Dear friends,

Eight years seems too long a time especially for a relationship that was first measured in months, amid earlier doubts that it would not live past twelve.

But it did. We did. The months became years. And now at eight years, we started wondering how in the world did we ever get this far?

Let me just step back a bit. ^_^

Eight years ago, our partnership was forged under the June 28 rain. Prior to that is a tale that spanned four years of serendipitous circumstances, a year of silence, and another year of gray areas.

1991.

“were you dancing to the same tune?...”

She was seated a few rows behind me during the UPCAT examination in Iloilo. She was in the same plaza during the culminating night of the 1991 Kalibo Ati-atihan, shouting and dancing along hundred others as we celebrated the last moments of highschool life, even as the final fireworks failed to burn.

1991-1995.

“the vision wafted through the newly-polished hall, rising above the din amid the sea of unfamiliar faces...”

The vision stayed. She became my classmate, my sparring partner, my thesis advisee, and my friend. Fate played a hilariously frustrating game of hide-and-seek, bringing us closer everyday but never giving us the chance to be unattached at the same time.

1995-1996.

“destiny at the crossroads...”

We graduated. I worked, she went to law school. Our lives were pointing us to separate directions, but somehow in that quiet UP Campus street, near the place where we first met, magic brewed over again when I agreed to tune her friend's guitar.

1997.

“your kung-fu is better than mine... *smile*...”

Dream. Believe. Thrive. The time to know the real score has finally arrived. A time of charades, prose, rhetoric, and riddles that put sensibilities to the test. A time of debates that come with the decision to cross the line. The beginning of late long night walks and talks, and days that never end.

More importantly, a discovery of love, strength, and faith – the ones that we could share. The same ones that we share still, eight years later, the ones we’ll take further on.


On the eve of my 30th birthday, Joan has accepted my proposal and, in less than a year from now, we will take our vows to be united in marriage.

We give thanks, above all, to God for all the blessings and for orchestrating the whole thing.

To our friends who have played roles in bringing us together:

Vincent, for telling me her name on our first week in Kalayaan Residence Hall, 1991. ^_^

Euge, even before you were labeled “that quiet guy” by Joan way back during our Kalayaan orientation, you’ve been a buddy like no other. You were the first topic Joan and I talked about. You’ve become my confidante and the calm voice in my times of turmoil and euphoria. You and Cez were there all throughout as inspiration and source of wisdom, as you still are.

Cez, you kept me grounded when my heart overwhelms my head. Our every conversation was a learning experience. The snippets of advice here and there from you and Euge all counted. And, of course, we will never forget that Communication class that started it all (Mr. Grassroots aka Littlejohn).

Jen, it was you who spotted the signs, the twinkle in my eyes, and helped me make sense of it all.

Aids, you’ve been my ally in academics and in the lovefront. Your objectivity and sound judgment have been my stop signs at times when I’m rushing blindly head-on.

Our Tong Il Moo Do friends. You have ensured us healthy bodies and minds, hearts that feel, and memories to last a lifetime.

And to all others who know our story and saw us through it all.

Next year starts a new chapter, and you are all part of it.

Maraming salamat.

Joan and Leo

A love story, part 1